Viva Mexico!

So today we parted on better terms than Then we did yesterday Today he wasnt acting like a jaycat. So i was actually a little sad when he left. I dont know when hes coming back i just hope itlll be with a lot of money for his car at least. A plus would be for rent too.

Now what?!!

So now I find the bitches shirt in my room. None of what he says makes sense. I don't wanna even think about it anymore it's gonna upset me more and drive me crazy

I don't need no love.

I don't even know my own self

  So apparently I am blind to my own feelings. Either oblivious or in denial. But then I would be in denial to myself, cuz I am only trying to  fool myself into thinking that  I don't give a fuck about him, that I want him out of my life, away from me and that I despise him.
Is it true that if u keep saying something repeatedly  or acting a certain way over And over eventually it'll stick ?
Well in this case I try to deny how I feel about him, even to myself. And I act as though I don't care about him or what he does.  But I left to the valley at 2 am wanting to see him before I left. But he never showed or answered my calls. He was with another girl till 4 am with his phone off. My mom thinks he's cheating.
I didn't want to come here.
I miss him and im in a panic on what he's doing with her. I'm afraid my fuck up is pushing them together and im trying to rush back.  After the first court I stopped at my friends and watched a video on my phone I took of him the day before i lost the car. Hearing his voice and seeing him I immediately felt this horrible tight burn in my stomach. And this ache and almost a panicky feeling to run to him and put him away from prying eyes. ..just so I won't lose him. If I hide him from the world it won't take him away from me.

Back again..

I used the needing a ride technique to get a response from Ass hole. It worked.But he asked if I wanted to kick it. I said yes, and now I'm here, looking at the air mattress on the floor, remembering calling him really this morning like 4am, and him telling me he's "RESTING" 
yeah with her .  Yes totally dissed by this  mother fucker.  I know he fucked her, he already did before, so why not again? I just feel it in my bones. 
But, he doesn't actually think I'm gonna spend the night with him, or even believe him when he says he was in the garage the whole time.

At the casino

It's not fun gambling with someone, even just watching then gamble when they don't know when to quit. Over a thousand, and my friend have out all back and then some. And you can't stop her. She can't stop. It s just sucky n

I'm not hurt

I'm more so offended, and insulted cuz I was just used again. I hate being used, and lately it's been happening

Want Me back?

Hello wants me back,I don't think so.  He tries to say to this home less chick that I'm not his ex anymore, and he looks at me and says right? Ii don't say anything, fuck you bobot.

He runs off somewhere with her, and now he's in hisn room with her.  Btw she already told me she sleepy with him.
That's WHY I SAY NO!! Fuck you bobot