RUN AWAY TO LONG BEACH

FROM KICKING IT, TO KICKED OUT

past few days i was getting kicked out ,but was able to get back in with an apology, one from him and one from me. this time, he wouldnt let me back in, and the reasons are baffling to me. i dont even know what happened. although i have felt a distance bewtween us, like he didnt want me there, he wouldnt even come to bed with me!  everynight ive been in bed falling alseep by myself. hes been straight out avoiding me. he even spent his whole thanskgiving day with Geraldine  and totally disregarded me and going with me to see my family. but today  he left me on a good note with saying im the love of his life and kisses me.bye, but then he comes back pissed off and kicks me out. i figured it.might be cuz he wanted to kick it with the girl that called him right when he was talking shit to me. but his phone is off cuz he needs to pay his bill. he left me outside , but instead of.waiting out there like a dumb ass i left to roberts. im thinking that ill take this situation hold onto my hurt and anger and use that as fuel to take.my ass home.

confidence is beauty

ok so yeah i dont feel good about myself unless i feel i look good on the outside. everyrhing i own was stolen from my car so that means no makeup! ive been struggling with my face and my breakouts. but i finally got my face wash that i use, and tonight i finally got my make up that i love, which is my bare minerals. bobot helped by giving me 40$ towards it. wow just when i think hes a lost cause, then he does something so right!
Did i mention that last night while laying in my lap due to a tummy ache he had, he said he loved me..and said it on his own, not in response to anything i said, completely from himself.

Dont worry about it..

"Dont worry about "
that was the last thing he said to me as he was walking out to 'go take care of something' wouldn't tell me what or with whom.
of course im tripping about it because he just left me here and just earlier via text he was telling me how he could get it (sex )  somewhere else but he chooses to get it with me cuz he thought i was his girlfriend and he sticks to just one. (which we all know is bullshit )
FUCK!!!!!

at estelles

about to eat food, a selfie for bobot, keeping him updated on my whereabouts

JUST WHEN I THOUGHT...

Just when i thought id lost his love he sends me a text reply saying he loves me too. hey thats better than nothing.
that makes it harder to leave. the longer i stay the harder  it gets, and the less i wanna leave, and the more i wanna stay and try to make it.out here in this chaotic hell called the valley, just to stay  with him.

END OF DAYS?

royal fool

i consider myself a fool for.alllowing myself to run back to bobot and rehashing old feelings. should have stuck with my anger and hatred towards him. i knew better than to be around him because i would just fall in love all over again. god only knows why though..