so i gave him his darts he seemed genuinely happy. he's in the shower right now, and his sister came in the room and saw me. she actually smiled and was happy that I was here. that made me feel good! I wish bobot shared her same enthusiasm.
although I feel out of place I'm trying to maintain a good positive attitude.
but man,, he's on a good one.he's totally obvious in my eyes.
150pm
I'm at Robert's. after bobit got out of the shower he tells me he's going to go to Carson. , then awkward silence, and i knew what he was getting at. I'm supposed to kick rocks. he asks what an I gonna do i mumble about going to store, and i tell him happy birthday. he said he'll call me later. do I'm walking away, he tells me he doesn't have my new number. as I'm walking out i say that its the same which it is. but he's not going to call me.
i wanted to spend his birthday with him, and i . wanted him to want that to, but he doesn't.in fact he's so emotionally unavailable to me now. he doesn't care that I'm dying inside. he doesn't really want me around, i feel like such an outcast. everyone gets to gather around him and the person that should be by his side is cast away never to be thought of again.his;, love: switch just switched off. and to suppress any feeling he might have. he slams himself with dope. so of course he didn't feel remorse, regret, loneliness sadness and love. i should be there but I'm not and i need to accept that.
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